Coma
by EyexLinerxWhore
Summary: What's so wrong with wanting the person you love the most to love you back? Possible 3 shot.
1. Chapter 1

_Surprise, bet you'd seen the last of me... Just kidding. Anyway, I forgot to mention that I am also Enzo Amore trash. I've been sitting on this one for a little bit and decided what the hell, might as well. OC doesn't have a description on purpose before anyone makes any comments, the song belongs to Issues, (trash for them also), from their album Headspace and the song is called Coma and I'm obsessed with it. This is kind of different from anything I've ever written; definitely darker. Let's go there, shall we?_

* * *

Accident

' _What was it about her that made her so special to him? I've been an A1 since day one and he never even considered in the tiniest bit that I could be in love with him. He constantly made fun of the fact that I'm single, but somehow always managed to ignore the fact that the only man I've wanted was him. He doesn't make it easy on me either. I have to constantly see them together, but when she's not paying attention, his blue eyes are on me; his gaze so intense it feels like he's mentally undressing me for everyone to see just how vulnerable I am when it comes to him._ _It's the damnedest thing too because I love it. I love the way he makes me feel when he's not with her; when he's my best friend again, if only for a temporary amount of time before he flips the switch and goes back to pretending that I don't exist_. _I don't know how much more I can take of this. It's eating me up inside.'_

* * *

"You need to slow down. Didn't you drive yourself here?" His deep gravelly voice spoke near her ear.

"Oh, _NOW_ you give a shit?" She spoke loud enough to be heard over the music. Another shot of whiskey burned down her throat as she turned her body back towards the bar.

His eyes scanned the room before he grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. He leaned in closer to her before he spoke, "I always give a shit. You know that." He cupped her left cheek in his right hand, lightly running his thumb against her skin.

She wrapped her right arm around his shoulder, lightly resting on the braided tail of his mohawk, pulling him close enough their foreheads rested together. She leaned in slowly as he pulled away to prevent what he was sure was about to be a kiss. She kept her eyes downcast as she scoffed; it sounded like an amused puff of air she let out through her lips.

She turned back to the bar, "Can I get two more shots, please?"

"She's done. That's not..." He started

She cut him off, "You don't speak for me! Go find your precious little girlfriend and go back to acting like I'm a fucking ghost."

He was taken aback. She never lashed out like that before; especially not at him. She was beyond her limit on the liquor too. He could tell that much just by looking at her.

"I just..." He ran his hand through his messy bleach blond hair. It was already messy from removing the two corn rows he wore earlier.

"Just go! Or don't and I will." She quickly drank her two shots that finally arrived, dropped some money on the bar. She turned to leave pushing her way through the crowd.

' _He was all I had left. He was all I wanted. Why couldn't he see that?_ '

Bleary tired eyes opened just in time to see that she had drifted over into the wrong lane of traffic on a two way stretch highway. She jerked the wheel to avoid an oncoming semi truck, but the force of her turning the wheel sent her car down an embankment, flipping over twice before the passenger side slammed into a tree. She blinked slowly, then her eyes closed.

* * *

His phone rang in the early hours of the following morning. He wasn't entirely coherent until he heard, "There's been an accident."

That's all he heard before he jolted out of bed and took off to the hospital, being that he was first emergency contact. Deep in his gut he knew it was her, but was praying it wasn't. She wasn't the stupid or irresponsible type. She wouldn't do something like this.

He had tried calling her repeatedly after he saw her leave. He tried to leave their small gathering of friends himself to go after her; everyone telling him to let her cool down. But now, as he's sitting in a cushioned, yet still somehow uncomfortable chair, he realizes he never should've let her go. Not in the state she was in.

Guilt, sadness and anger; it was eating at him. He sat and held her bandaged hand. Her face bruised and cut, left collarbone broken and severe trauma to her head.

"You always thought my dumb ass would be the one to end up in a hospital." He chuckled warily, holding back tears. "I mean, I did, but that's beside the point. What the fuck were thinking, huh? Drinking and driving? You didn't learn shit from the friends we lost, huh? I'm so fucking pissed at you right now. How could you do this to us?" He let go of her hand and stood abruptly, almost knocking the chair over in the process.

He watched her intently for any sign of movement. A breathing tube, IVs and a heart monitor all attached to her. He paced, running his hands through his hair.

The tears returned, "When you wake up, you have so much explaining to do." He held her hand again. "I can't lose you. Not like this." He placed a kiss on her fingers before he rested his head on the bed.

* * *

"You're awake." His voice and expression were that of relief.

She shook her head, "You're asleep."

"I'm not. You're right here, awake and fine."

She gave him a half smile.

"What were you thinking?"

"Honestly?"

He nodded expectedly.

"What would it matter."

"Excuse me?"

"That's what I was thinking."

He walked towards her, pulling her in for a hug. "You matter. You'll always matter. You're my heart."

"Must be weird to have so many hearts."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"Even in your dreams you can't admit it to yourself."

"Admit that I love you? I admitted that to myself years ago."

She was quiet, as he kept his hold on her.

"If you don't wake up, I'll never be able to tell you."

"I thought I was awake already."

"Please don't leave me. Please."

She pulled away slightly, "I just need you to know that if I don't wake up, that this wasn't your fault. That I never meant to hurt you or anyone else..."

"No no no! Stop. You're not going anywhere."

"I am. I've had enough." She pulled away just enough to briefly kiss his lips. Her cheeks were damp. "I love you so much. I just wish I could've loved you better… As something more. "

He was crying, tears freely falling from his eyes.

"Wake up."

"What?"

"WAKE UP!"

He woke with a jolt. His cheeks damp. His mind was swirling. He wiped at his face as he stood up. Nothing was making sense until a sound whizzed through his ears like a bullet in the air; a steady continuous sound with no breaks between the beats and the sight of a flat line on the screen of her heart monitor.

* * *

 _DUN DUN DUN… Guys, I'm so lame. I'm sorry. But reviews are nice, right?_

 _(NOTE: Sorry for those that followed this story and have me as a favorited author for receiving this email. I had to fix this chapter or risk losing the story and my account. I was informed that this chapter was in violation of this site's guidelines for having lyrics in this story. That was my fault for not reading the guidelines more carefully, but to have someone leave **A REVIEW** on my chapter telling me so was fucking rude and definitely pissed me off upon reading the email of the review. My other gripe with this is, if you're going to try to police people on using lyrics, POLICE EVERYONE and don't be such a fucking power hungry dick about it. Your opinion about other using lyrics are a crutch is rude and extremely judgmental for a person that doesn't have any stories of their own on their profile. Yes, I'm being petty. No, I do not care. I write for fun and as a way to express myself creatively and to have someone try to come in and act like Umbridge is just fucking annoying. I'm not sure how this reads now that the lyrics are gone, I'm not even entirely sure I care. I apologize for this long ass rant, but I needed to get this off my chest. I'll have a real update soon. )_


	2. Chapter 2

_Alright, here's chapter 2 in honor of the draft, but it's like 11 pm in California and I have no concept of time or priorities or anything. Uh... There's some swearing in this chapter so... Yeah. There's that. Thanks for the follows and lone review. Maybe one more after this? We shall see...  
_

* * *

Recovery

It was early, but not too early; she had showered and dressed as best as she could with only one arm fully mobile. She was putting her black brace on to stabilize her left arm when she heard her doorbell. With a roll of her eyes, she finished fastening the Velcro before she left her bedroom to open the door for the person ringing the bell, not bothering to look through the peephole.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"You're full of shit." She spoke as she walked away from the door.

"We need to talk." He said after her retreating form as he closed the door behind him.

"It's not gonna be a talk. It's gonna be a lecture. And if that's what you're here for, don't say shit to me, Eric."

"You almost died." She had no idea what he had been through sitting in that hospital room. His own heart felt like it had stopped momentarily. He stood there, rooted in the spot he was standing as doctors and nurses rushed into her room. It took several of them to remove him while they worked to get her heart beating again. The rhythmic sound was like a beacon of hope when it reached his ears just outside the room.

"I know. I'm living with it." She gestured to the healing cuts and collarbone and fading bruises while she stood in her kitchen.

"What were you thinking, huh?" He spoke with his hands on his hips.

She rolled her eyes, "I honestly didn't think I had that much to drink. I was walking fine. I could see fine. I thought I was fine. Even the doctors and cops said so."

He stared at her.

"What do you care anyway? I'm surprised your little shadow didn't follow you when you rushed to the ER."

"I didn't tell her where I was going. She didn't really get a chance to ask either." He ran his hand over his messy hair.

"And I'm sure you still haven't told her either, right?" She tilted her head, her eyes scrutinizing him.

"It has nothing to do with her. You're one of my best friends."

"But only when she's not around."

"Why do you care either way? You hate her."

"I've tried, EA, for your sake as your best friend. I put everything I was feeling about the situation to the side because it was obvious that being with her made you happy. And I ever wanted was to see you happy. I was trying to be supportive, but she decided she wanted to be an asshole to me and I've got zero patience for that kind of shit."

"So you just walk away?"

"What the fuck else am I supposed to do? It's not like you've done anything to make me feel like you need me around. I can't stand her. I can't stand to see you with her. I don't want to be around that shit, and yet, here we fucking are."

"So this is my fault?"

"I didn't say that. You're not the one that keeps getting rejected by the one fucking person you love more than yourself; which ain't sayin' much considering," She gestured to herself, "That's not you. That's all me, Eric. And at this point, I really just don't fucking care anymore. I don't care that they resuscitated me. And I really wouldn't care if they hadn't been able to."

"Hey, you shut the hell up talkin' like that." He got in her personal space, reaching for her hand.

She yanked her hand away from him, taking a step back. "Don't. Don't act like you care."

"Don't fucking tell me that I don't!" He grabbed her right hand and pulled her into him.

Her eyes roamed all over his face, searching, "Show me."

"I can't. You know I can't." He spoke as he shook his head, his blue eyes downcast.

"You could before. I don't understand. Why is she so fucking special? What made you decide that she was the one you wanted to lock down? Was I just like all the other girls before her?"

He slowly pulled away from her. She blinked back tears.

"Fuck." She whispered her voice slightly cracking. "Wow." She went to lift her left arm to wipe her eye and winced in pain momentarily forgetting about her mending bone.

"It wasn't like that."

"Just admit it, E. Let's just come fucking clean, okay? I'm in love with you, I want you for myself and I have since I was 20 years old working at Foot Locker and you were working at Hooters. We have something undeniable, but it's so fucking one sided that it makes me sick. I'm carrying a torch for someone that I care about so deeply and it doesn't seem to matter. And that's my own fucking fault, but I'm not sorry about it."

He shook his head, "Look, I love you too, aight? I love you, I do, but..."

"You love her more and in a different way."

He was at a loss. He did love her. She had been ride or die since he met her. Fiercely loyal to him despite some of the dumb shit he did.

"Of course you do." She mumbled under her breath, walking further into her kitchen.

"Come on..." He took a few steps towards her, but still kept his distance, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for how you feel. I get it. After eight years and a near death experience, I get it."

They were quiet until his text alert sounded.

"I gotta go, it's Gionna."

She rolled her eyes, turning away from him to open her refrigerator.

"Take it easy with that break, aight?"

"Yeah, whatever, E."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

They stared into each other's eyes. His were always bright, lively and startling blue with this hint of mischief in them. Hers always held a deep warmth and seemed to carry a wealth of knowledge and wisdom beyond her years.

He was caught. He felt like he could see the weight of what she was carrying for him through her eyes and hit him like a punch to the chest. He never doubted a word she ever said, but looking at her in that moment he could see her heartbreak.

His text alert went off again making him look away.

"Fuck. Okay." He mumbled under his breath as he typed a quick reply.

"You better go before she thinks we're fucking each other behind her back." She tried to joke.

He gave a pointed serious look, "I need you to promise me something before I leave."

"What's that?"

"Promise me that all that love inside of you won't go to waste. Someone out there deserves that and will give it back to you in ways you've never imagined. Promise you won't let this make you stop loving."

She rolled her eyes again, "Always the romantic." She responded sarcastically.

"Promise me."

"That's not my style, you know that."

"Then just say you'll try."

His phone started ringing.

"I'll try. Now get out."

"Thank you." He came closer and pulled her into as tight of a hug as he could manage without hurting her slow healing bone. "I'll see you later."

"Later."

* * *

 _Where do they go from here? What do you think? Leave a review!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the delay. Which wasn't really a delay. It was more like I didn't know what the hell to do for this chapter and was really put off of writing for this story after that rude ass person left that rude ass review on the first chapter. This isn't what I had in mind, but I went with it and I think it turned out okay. Dialogue heavy in this one. Um... Google Don Benjamin so you can see the gorgeousness that he is. Do y'all even read these? No mind, let's do this.  
_

* * *

Healed

The glow from the lights could be seen from ground floor outside of the New York City building Cass and Carmella picked out for their engagement party. She glanced up taking note that the party was on the fifth floor and realizing that she was definitely going to be running into Enzo on this night. Some things had changed since she had last seen and spoken to him.

"You nervous?" She spoke as her boyfriend Don, closed the door behind her and their uber driver left.

"Nah, I'm excited to meet some more of your people." He rubbed his hand together before draping his arm around her shoulder leading her to the glass door entrance.

"DB, this is a party; a celebration. Not a business endeavor." She reminded as they walked across the lobby towards the elevators.

"What kind of entrepreneur would I be if I didn't try to spread my wings a little?" He turned and faced her, both arms draped over her shoulders.

"For one night, I'd like for you to my boyfriend, Don. Not Don Benjamin the model, blossoming music producer and rapper." She spoke softly, but loud enough for him to hear. She made brief eye contact before the elevator greeted them.

He dropped his arms, "I'm sorry, boo. I'll try my best, but if they ask..." He tipped her chin with the knuckle of his index finger, leaving her standing there for a second as he entered the elevator.

"Fine, whatever. Let's just get this over with." She folded her arms across her stomach and kept her distance from him on the short ride up.

* * *

The façade was on. She walked into the room, her arm looped through Don's. She scanned the room before immediately picking Cass out. Sometimes being the tallest man in the room helped.

Enzo spotted her from his spot at the bar. He had to do a double take when he noticed she wasn't alone. The first thing he felt was a surge of sadness tinged with jealousy. He always did tell her she had a lot to give someone and now that she was and he was witnessing it person, he didn't understand why he was feeling the way he feeling.

It was odd for him to try to stay low key at such an important event for his best friend, but if he wanted things to be smooth and peaceful, that's exactly what he was going to do. Lately things with him and Gionna had gone from going sideways sometimes to straight to hell in a hand basket. They argued more often than not and over the most stupid shit. He was trying to prevent that from happening by keeping his distance from her. That had been easy enough considering she ditched him as soon as they got there.

He turned slightly keeping his eyes on the party. He couldn't help but notice how mystery man kept pulling her body into his as they spoke to Cass and Carmella. Her body language was all wrong, he could see that from where he was sitting. She excused herself from the group just as he turned back to the bartender to get a refill.

She approached the bar, sitting her clutch on it ordering two Jack and cokes.

"What are you a waitress now?"

"Hello to you too, Eric."

"How you doin'?"

"I'm fine."

"I noticed." He jutted his thumb back in the direction of where he saw Cass and Carmella last.

She rolled her eyes, but stayed silent.

"So, who is he? Looks like a sweet boy."

"Why do you care, E? Huh? I did exactly what you told me to do."

"But you ain't happy. That's clear as day."

She opened her mouth to speak, but an arm wrapped around Enzo's waist. She rolled her eyes again.

"What's going on over here?"

"Nothing. We were just catching up."

Clutch hanging from its strap on her wrist and her drinks in hand, "And I was just leaving."

Enzo stared at her retreating form until Gionna stepped around to be fully in front of him.

"You're pathetic, flirting in front of me. Are you trying to make me jealous with _her_ of all people?"

"Don't cause a scene. You're just gonna embarrass yourself. We weren't flirting so calm your ass down."

* * *

"So yeah, I do a little bit of everything. Here's my card, we should work together some time. I'm all over the place these days."

She rolled her eyes then took a deep breath, "Excuse me, here's your drink."

"Mmm, thanks baby." He kissed her on the temple, "But seriously if you're interested don't be afraid to use that number." Don left with his arm around his girl and his drink in his hand. He went to stop but she kept pulling him closer to the door they entered the room through.

"What the hell was that about?"

"What did I tell you outside? They asked about me and I let them know. It's nothing, boo. Chill."

"I'm not gonna chill. I wanted you here to meet some people that are near and dear to my heart, not for you to expand your brand. I just wish for two seconds you could turn the shit off and just be. I just wanted my boyfriend, but I still got Don Benjamin the entrepreneurial business man."

"What do you expect when you mix business with pleasure?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. This is me. You're my PA first and girlfriend second. So if I need to make new connections, I will. I don't give a fuck if it is at your friends' engagement party."

She was stunned, "I'm so glad you said that shit out loud," she shook her head and chuckled humorlessly, "Guess it's time you find someone to replace both of those roles in your life then."

Don's dark eyebrows rose in surprise, "Just like that, huh? You're done with me?"

"I'm tired of always playing second fucking fiddle in everyone's story. I'm not a priority to you, Don. Nothing will ever come before your career, so yeah I'm done. You'll have my resignation on Monday and you can just throw my toothbrush away."

His light green eyes stared at her for a long time until his phone rang, "I gotta take this." He mumbled before walking out of the room.

She watched him as she exhaled deeply, only she could simultaneously quit a job and dump someone at the same time.

* * *

"Look, I'm not doing this here. I'm not gonna let you ruin their celebration, Gi, so chill the fuck out."

"Don't fucking talk to me like that. I see the way you look at _her_ , Eric. I'm not dumb."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're fucking her, aren't you? Just tell me. Tell me right now."

"You've lost your damned mind. For the last fucking time, I'm not saying this shit again; I'm not cheating on you. Not with her, not with anybody."

"I don't believe you."

"Then don't. That doesn't have shit to do with me."

"Two can play that game though. You wanna fuck around on me... You're never home so I've been fucking around on you."

He stared at her with a straight faced, "Do you fucking hear yourself right now? You're drunk. You wouldn't..."

She cut him off, "But I have. How does that feel?"

 _'Like nothing, if I'm honest.'_

He shook his head, "Are we done here?"

"No, I'm not done. Why won't you fight for me? Don't you love me?"

He was looking behind her, but she didn't seem to notice. The other woman he had been accused of cheating with was standing there, hands on her hips facing the door.

"Why would I fight for someone that doesn't trust me and does dirty shit behind my back? This should've been over months ago, Gionna, but like they say, better late than never. I'm sick of this shit. Go hop on the dick you've been riding this whole time while accusing me. You're a toxic person. I'm out."

He side stepped her, walking over to Cass and Mella.

"What's up?" Cass noticed the look on his face.

"I'm gonna head out. Um..." Enzo scratched the back of his neck, "Gi and I just broke up. She's either gonna storm outta here or tell you a bunch of shit. I don't wanna get into it right now and I don't wanna ruin the party so I'm just gonna go. I'll make it up to you with the bachelor party."

"You better not do anything too crazy, Zo. I'll kill ya." Mella warned as Cass chuckled

"Yeah yeah, whatever." He hugged her first then Cass.

"I'll text you when I get back to Jersey."

He made his way back to the door where she was still standing, but she was off to the side, facing the bar.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"What?" She blinked rapidly as if she was coming out of a trance.

"The pretty boy you were with. Where's he at?"

"He had a phone call..." She trailed off.

He watched her intently until her eyes finally lifted towards him. As she was about to speak, she felt her phone vibrate in her clutch.

 _'I have to hop a flight to LA tonight. You have a ticket to go back to Florida_ _day after tomorrow_ _. I need you to stay on until I can find a replacement PA and when I do, I need you to do a follow up interview with them and show them the ropes. You'll b fully paid during this time, of course. This is a business after all._

 _-D'_

She replied to the text almost telling him to go fuck himself but decided against it considering she'd need the money while she looked for another job.

As she put her phone back in her clutch. She couldn't make eye contact with Enzo, "But um, he's not coming back."

"You wanna talk about it?"

She laughed, but it wasn't jovial, "Sure, as soon as you explain why Gionna is looking at me like she's gonna beat my ass."

He shook his head, "Not tonight. Let's get out of here."

* * *

 _Chapter 4 is in the works. Leave a review please!_


	4. Chapter 4

Physical Therapy

"How you doin'? You sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine."

"You keep saying that..." He trailed off.

She casted him a sideways glance, before turning to face him.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything besides you being fine. Happy? Sad? Pissed off?"

"How about some other 4 letter words, huh? Sick and done. What about maybe a 5 letter word? Tired. That's how I feel. I'm sick and tired and done with this bullshit." She turned back to face the street and folded her arms.

"What happened in there?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, E. Drop it."

"Since when do you shut me out?"

She didn't want to talk about _this_ either. Eric was one of her best friends. Eric was the man she saw being her husband and the father of her children. But things had changed. She had been pushed aside for someone else by him too, when it was clear that there was more than simple friendship between them.

"I'm not shutting you out." She mumbled.

"Then talk to me."

"What part of I don't want to talk about it don't you understand?"

"We don't talk about anything anymore. It's like we aren't even friends."

She rolled her eyes, "Maybe if your girlfriend wasn't such a psycho bitch, we could be as close as we were."

"Ex." He corrected.

Did she just hear him right? Ex?

"What?"

"Ex girlfriend." He clarified then realized how nice and light he felt after saying that.

"That explains the death glare I got."

He rolled his eyes at that comment as he got them an uber.

"You alright riding back with me? Doesn't make sense to potentially have two cars."

"I was hoping to stop by a store and buy some whiskey or something to drink this night away."

"It's no fun to drink alone. It's also not safe."

"Since when do you care about being safe?"

"I'm getting wise in my old age, didn't you know?" He spoke as he did his trademark Enzo Amore Ali Shuffle. She tried to hold back a smile, but failed miserably.

"There's my girl." He commented.

She rolled her eyes.

"So... Sleepover in your hotel room then?"

"How nice of you to just invite yourself, as usual."

"I'm just trying to look out for you, that's all."

"Mhm, I'm sure you are."

* * *

After a quick stop at a convenience store, they made their way back to her hotel room. They had since gotten comfortable; music playing lowly and opting to drink the amber colored liquid from the bottle.

Bottle in hand, he got up, placing the bottle on the table in the room, "Come dance with me?" He asked as he approached her side of the bed.

She placed her hand in his as he pulled her off the bed and into his chest. He playfully dragged her to foot of the bed and began to sway to the music.

As the tempo to a new, faster song started, she got bold. She turned her back to him and slowly started swaying her hips to the beat. He kept his eyes on her before he pulled her close to him. She pressed her ass against his crotch and slowly grinded on him to the beat of the music. She slowly raised her arms and wrapped them back and around his neck. He noticed her eyes were closed as she moved against him. He ran his hands from her hips, up to her stomach and sides over her body con dress. He dipped his head and pressed a gentle kiss on her neck. She let out a small sigh and smiled before she untangled herself from him and turned around to face him.

"What would you say if I said I wanted to kiss you right now?" She searched his eyes. She was no longer moving to the music. This was a bad idea, she vaguely registered, but it felt so good to have him like this again.

He paused briefly before leaning in to whisper in her ear, "I'd say, don't talk about it, be about it."

With a smirk on her lips, she let her eyes roam all over before pulling away from him.

He watched her as she walked over and grabbed the bottle of their shared liquor and took a long drink.

* * *

The whiskey was long gone. The two of them sharing a bed for the first time in a long time.

"Are you staying with me so I don't choke on my puke?" She spoke quietly into the dark room as she pressed her face against his back as her arm was draped over his waist. She had passed her limit on the alcohol.

"Yeah and I'm drunk." He turned over to his back as she draped half of her body on his, "There's no way I would even attempt to drive to Jersey like this. I did think you had passed out already though."

"Not yet. When are you going back to Jersey?" Her speech had a slight slur; from the alcohol and falling asleep.

He lightly ran his fingertips along her upper arm, knowing that any kind of gentle touch in this state would lull her to sleep, "Probably when I wake up some time later today. Then it's back to the grind."

"Grind with me relax your mind take your time with me" She randomly sang before giggling.

That had caught him a little off guard. He glanced at her in the darkness. She really was singing and humming lyrics to a Pretty Ricky song.

"I'm gonna ask you something and I need you to be honest with me, aight?"

"When am I not honest with you, Zo? I might be too drunk and too tired to keep it all straight, but I'm always honest. Ask away."

"If I said I wanted you to kiss me right now, what would you do?"

She paused for a second as she thought, as foggy as she felt, she knew how she felt about kissing him... Again. Doing things like the impromptu sleep over they were having at the moment, made her realize how much she missed him. It didn't fix how hurt she felt from loving him so hard and him deciding to put his love and effort into someone else, but in the moment, it was her and Eric; exactly how they should be.

"I would ask you to sit up so I could sit in your lap facing you. Then I would make sure your arms were wrapped around my waist. And my arms would be draped over your shoulders. Then you would tilt your head back just a little bit and I would gently kiss you; at least initially anyway. But, the real question is E, what would you do?" She twirled a piece of his hair around her finger.

He untangled himself from her to turn on a bedside lamp, temporarily blinding them both. He sat himself up against the headboard of the bed then grabbed her thigh making her squirm. She straddled him just as she described, his arms around her waist, holding her against him before he leaned in and kissed her.

She melted into him as she deepened the kiss. He pulled away from her briefly, slightly breathless. He brushed his thumb along her cheek before he leaned in and pecked her on the lips repeatedly causing her to quietly laugh.

He had missed that. Terribly. She had always been the only woman to leave him breathless after a simple and short make out session. His heart was racing. He was sure she could feel it.

He loosened his grip on her so he could really take her in. She was definitely drunk. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were half closed, but even then she still looked beautiful.

And then as he realization struck him through his drunken state, they had both fallen oddly quiet.

Suddenly it was all starting to make sense. Suddenly he was sober. Suddenly he was aware.

"Goodnight." He spoke softly, trying like hell to not let his face show everything he was feeling inside kissing her again for good measure before she took her spot next to him in the bed.

"Goodnight, E." He heard her mumble as he turned off the lamp and mentally argued with himself about spooning her not.

"Hey, I'm heading out." He gently shook her shoulder, trying to wake her just enough to tell her he'd see her later.

She opened her eyes to look in the direction of where she thought Enzo's voice was coming from.

"What?" She asked with confusion in her voice.

He sat on the bed, "There's water and aspirin right there, drunk ass. Mella will be here in a few. I'll see you back in Florida, alright?"

"Thanks, Zo." She popped the aspirin in her mouth, washing it down with the water then lying back down.

He stood up from the bed before leaning down and kissing her on the forehead.

A little bit of space would do him good. He suddenly had a lot of things he needed to sort through and come to terms with.

* * *

 _Quickest hiatus ever, right? A few things, after the shit show that occurred because of the lyrics in chapter one, I've put them back and left my rant, because really, fuck that shit. Secondly and more obviously, THIS IS A REAL CHAPTER. I wrote this as a big thank you to all of you; Aeon, Williow, MissM0x, Nao-bou, Ctinaisfashion, CiCix3, writergrrrl, SmallButFierce, Armbar Nation and whomever CatKilla is. Thank you guys so much for your support through this and for inspiring me to keep writing this story. It means a lot to me that you guys support my writing and would come to my defense over this chicken shit situation. I won't be editing the first chapter again, so if I get reported, I absolutely will wait to hear from a moderator before I let someone try to bully me out of one of my creative outlets. As always, I hope you all read and enjoyed this latest installment. Leave a review and let me know what you thought._


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm just trying to be on team no happy endings..._

* * *

I Wanted It To Be Me

Months.

It had been months since she had heard from Eric. A few days between texts or calls was normal, but it was coming up on 3 months of radio silence. She had a pretty good idea why though.

Initially, she had kept an eye on social media, because didn't everyone? She watched Raw almost religiously just to make sure he was still in one piece. All was well on that front. Then she saw he posted a picture of himself in a new house in the Encino Hills of California with a new puppy named Frank. Then she saw a picture of him and Gionna on New Year's and suddenly everything clicked into place.

She was getting ghosted because he wasn't single and he sure in the hell wasn't a Florida resident anymore.

* * *

He pulled up outside of her apartment complex, swallowing thickly. This was the first time he was going to be seeing her face to face since their night in New York. When he left, he had fully intended on searching his soul and clearing his mind. It started out well and then things got messy.

He was in love with her. He always had been, but never wanted to complicate things. Which lead to him being with other women throughout their friendship. The longer he kept up the charade, the harder it was to deny his feelings for her. He hated seeing her hurt. And hated it even more when he was the cause for her hurting.

But as fate would have it, he and Gionna began speaking again. Which lead to old feelings resurfacing, which led to dates, which inevitably left them being together again.

Had he taken the coward's way out by never admitting to anyone but himself that he had deep feelings for his best friend and then moving across the country all while basically ghosting her?

He absolutely was, but only to insure his friendship would stay the same.

* * *

There was brief knocking at her front door. She muted her tv to hear the knocking again. She stood from her couch and headed to the door as she wasn't expecting anyone. She peaked through the peephole as she sucked her teeth seeing an undeniable mop of bleach blond hair.

She unlocked and opened the door just enough for her to stand in the opening, "Can I help you?"

"Aren't ya gonna let me inside?"

"No. What do you want?"

He was taken aback, "Look, I just wanna apologize and explain myself. And I'd really rather not do it standing out here."

She rolled her eyes begrudgingly, but stepped back opening the door wider.

"Thank you."

She closed the door and folded her arms. She watched him as he paced back and forth.

"If you're just gonna wear my carpet down, you can leave."

"Look, I'm sorry, aight? I know it's been a minute since we talked..."

She cut him off, "A minute?! It's been months, Eric. Fucking months. And for what? Too busy working and moving and fixing whatever the fuck was broken with you and Gionna that you just fucking forgot all about me?"

"I was busy, yeah. There was a lot of shit going on in here." He tapped the side of his head.

"So, you ignore my texts and calls and comments and messages too?"

"You never called or texted."

"Oh, bullshit I didn't." She walked around her couch to grab her phone to show him. The last call being two weeks prior.

"I never got anything, hand to the man." He pulled his phone out showing her.

She shook her head sadly, "Gionna." She whispered.

"It couldn't have been..."

She interrupted him again, "Why not? That's who you've been with all this time, isn't it? She can't stand me or our friendship. So, why not?"

He looked down at his Jordans.

"What do you want, E? You wanna give me a status update? I know everything already."

"Ya know I still care about ya then, right?"

"I really wish you didn't." Her arms were folded again and her voice soft, "Why'd you disappear like that?"

"I really was trying to sort through some things going on in here." He gestured to his head and heart before continuing, "I figured it all out, but I came to the same conclusion. It was better off the way it was. Everything else was to distract me; to convince myself I made the right decision."

She wiped at her left eye, "What decision?"

He took a deep breath, "Its not important."

"You ghost me for months and you can't even tell me why?"

"You're already crying. I just..."

"You're being chicken shit. Just say it. How much more damage can be done?"

"I love you."

She rolled her eyes as he continued.

"I'm in love with you."

She frowned in confusion, "What?"

"I'm in love with you, but I couldn't bring myself to ruin our friendship."

She laughed and it sounded bitter and broken.

"Ruin our friendship? All I've wanted was for it to be me, E. From the very beginning all I wanted was you. There was always someone else in the picture and I figured being friends was better than nothing. And I was right, it was. But when I fell in love with you, I knew I was fucked, but despite all of that, we stayed friends. Despite me telling how I felt. Despite the nights of us hooking up. Through it all, we stayed friends. But when it's you having feelings for me, it's too risky and not worth our friendship? That's a fucking cop out and you know it."

He stood there silently watching her wipe away her tears.

"Go be with Gionna."

"What about us?"

"Us? There is no us. Not anymore. You showed me that in spades. There's a me and there's a you. You go do your thing and I'll do mine."

He stared at her. The finality to her tone sent chills through him.

"You're really throwing our friendship away?"

"Like you fucking did?"

"I didn't do anything. G must've deleted my shit..."

"Then go handle that. At this point, I don't care anymore. I'm done."

He stepped towards her, reaching out to touch her face to wipe away her tears. She turned her away and took a step back.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he walked out the door.

She rushed to throw the lock then stood there looking at it. She took a deep shaky breath before she walked away and dropped back on her couch.

* * *

 _This is where I leave you. Until next time..._


End file.
